Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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