I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
