Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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