the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
