So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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