I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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