my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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