just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
