I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
