Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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