I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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