i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
