So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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