haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
