guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
