No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
