Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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