There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
