I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
