Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
