I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
