it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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