How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
