no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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