There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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