you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
