why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize