dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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