the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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