So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
