**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
