i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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