I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
