how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The adults are the big ones right?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
