No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
How naked do you want me to be?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
