You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
