nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
