I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
They should really pass out barf bags in church
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Bring me that man meat
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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