Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Alive.
So much puke
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize