He felt like a one man threesome
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
