She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
