Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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