Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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