you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
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My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
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Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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