i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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