I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
