I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
