for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
