My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
