Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
