is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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