I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
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I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
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I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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