I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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