You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My bed smells like the plague
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
