oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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