so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
