I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
