Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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