there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
