Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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