thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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