so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
