I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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